Mind on crisis

Dear Brain of mine,

What's wrong with you?
Can you please explain me why you refuse to cooperate with me?
You think it's funny playing games with me?
I assume you it's not.
I feel that our relationship is on crisis.
Ok.I admit I didn't take care of you the last days.
I wasn't sleeping enough and I was avoiding to challenge you.
But is this a reason to leave me when I mostly need you?

Up there

We were just lying in the grass.
Away from this city.
We could barely hear its hum from up there.
We were closer to the sky.
Closer to anything devine.
It was us.
And them.
But still.We weren't one.
We were two single entities.
He was right next to me but I was still feeling lonely.
And now I wonder more than ever before.
Will I ever feel full?

My skin

My skin is nothing else but a thin plastic membrane

that keeps a torrent of emotions from rushing out.

And drowning the world.

I'm the earth.

My ground is craving for your water.
I'm the earth.
And I blossom with every step of yours.
My heart is beating in the rhythm of your steps.
But you fly away.
You distance from my surface.
And you leave me behind.
Waiting patiently for your landing.
Υou will get tired of flying,somewhen.
And you will look for me again.
You will lie down and kiss respectfully my ground.
And my heart will start beating again in the music of your breath.
And your breath is blending with the atmosphere.
And fondles my ears.

Something changed

Oh my!How much I love this video.

Molecules of dust

Every human is a micro-world.
We have our lives.
Our routine,our friends and relationships,our worries,our thoughts,our fears.
Living in our micro-world,we forget that we are part of a macro-world,of the universe.
We forget how small we are.We sometimes even forget to look at the sky.
If you google it,you can find pictures of our atmosphere.
Above our heads there are the troposphere,the stratosphere,the mesosphere and the ionosphere.
About 400 km above.
And after that the chaos.
I like staring at the stars.It reminds me how small we are.
And when you are aware of how small and fragile we are you see things from other perspective.
No problem is that serious.
Comparing it with the size of the universe.
Considering its consequences on the universe's balance.
None.
We are just molecules of the universe's dust.
When you realize how short your presence in this planet is,don't you want not to waste any second of it? 

Guess what.

I'm already swimming,if you know what I mean! ;)

About diving

I was making plans.After a while I was feeling trapped in my plans.All the plans we made together.I couldn't destroy them.But I did.And then I run.Away.And since then I'm running.I'm running away of people and situations when the water is getting deeper.Love is excitement,he says.Now the water is getting deeper again.And I'm on the sea side.Wetting my feed.Wondering if I wanna dive or not.

Behind the teen cliches

A classmate of mine came to me today.
He asked me what on earth we like in the way  my friends and I dress up.
He told me that we're all dressed alike.In a hippie way.
I told him that wasn't true.Each one of us dresses up in a different way.We are not trying to dress like hippies.
He said everything was the same to him.
I said him that he and his friends dress up,talk and behave in the same way.
He said me "we are friends that's why,we wouldn't be friends if we were too different from each other."
I said him that no one of them was looking alike at the beginning.
They started looking alike when they started doing company with each other.
He said the same thing for my friends and me.
He said that one of us influenced the others.
I said that his friends are trying to look like him.
We didn't come to a conclusion.
I still believe that each one of my friends dress in his way.But I haven't stop thinking about this conversation.

Hunting

model:Ion

She said,I like him,'cause I can't understand him.
I'm attracted by the unknown.
He challenges me to tame him.
But I don't want him to be tamed.
He will lose his wild beauty.
I will always hunt him.
But if I accidentally capture him,I will release him right away.
I will dismiss him.
To be able to hunt him again.

Waiting for a pizza that never came.

Portishead-Glory Box


Model:Olga

My red shoes.

Lungomare-Rene Aubry(I'm sure you've heard it before)


I bought this pair of shoes a couple of days ago.They're so comfy that you feel you walk barefoot.
I made a list of the movies I wanna see.Of corse I'm gonna add more.So any suggestions acceptable.


Narrator: [Amélie has found Nino's photo album and his "lost" posters] Any normal girl would call the number, meet him, return the album and see if her dream is viable. It's called a reality check. The last thing Amélie wants. 

Nights at the park

Zbigniew Preisner-Les Marionettes (From "la double vie de Veronique",the film's music is so lovely)

"You don't have to be so kind all the time",I said.

 "I'm not sure I know what else to be",he said.

A man sitting alone doesn't nesseccarily feel lonely.

Dusty Springfield-The look of love


She was just sitting there.Alone.Outside of the house.

I didn't feel pity for her 'cause I knew she was having fun being alone.

I remember once,while I was returning back from school,I saw a friend's little sister playing and talking with the cats of the neighborhood. And I smiled.

I thought of myself in her age.I was like that.

I often say I was a psycho when I was younger.

I was talking with myself all the time.I was making up stories and then I was acting like they were true.

I used to believe that the nature could listen to me.

I wasn't the typical noisy child like my cousins.

I was silent and obedient.

And sometimes I wish I wasn't.

Now that I'm a ...ehmm.... grown up,I couldn't say I've changed this much.

I still have fun when I'm alone.

And I love at nights,at the end of the day,when I sit on my bed,with my beloved lamp on.

Just staring at the light,the walls,the dust.Writing down my thoughts.Or just thinking.

Of course I love being with friends and meeting new people.It has nothing to do with that.

I don't know how all these came to me right now.Or why I'm talking about myself so much.

Tell me about you.How could you describe yourself when you were younger?What did you like to do?

How many people right now...

Madeleine Peyroux - Dance Me To The End Of Love

Home alone.A woman is struggling to open her umprella while talking on the phone.I see her from my window.It's raining.I didn't notice it.Cars are passing by.Life goes on outside.Life has stopped inside.Lying on the coach.My cat is sleeping on the chair.So calm.It's funny.Everybody's whishing me a happy new year on my dashboard.This time of the year all the bloggers are talking about the same thing.Actually,that's a lie cause it has happened again with the Lanvin-for-H&M-video.I like to think how many things are happening at this moment.How many cars are searching for parking right now?How many people get out of their house and they realise they haven't take an umbrella with them?How many people realise they forgot to wish Happy New Year to somebody?How many people were forgotten this year?There are billions of people outhere.I guess there's somebody who feels the way I feel.

oh no!My parents!Fuck!I promised to them I would tidy my room!


Happy New Year from me too!